There is a well-known story is told about Rav Chaim Soloveitchik (1853–1918) a 19th-20th century Talmudic scholar and founder of the Brisker method of analytical Talmudic study.
A man once came to him with what seemed like a simple halachic question:
“Can I fulfill the mitzvah of the four cups on Pesach using milk instead of wine?”
Many would have answered quickly yes or no, and moved on.
But Rav Chaim paused.
He didn’t just hear the question.
He heard the person behind the question.
He understood that if this man was asking about using milk, it likely meant he could not afford wine. And if he could not afford wine, then perhaps there would be no meat or chicken at his Seder either. As we cannto according to Jewish law have milk and meat together.
This wasn’t merely a halachic inquiry, it was a glimpse into a person’s struggle.
Instead of issuing a ruling, Rav Chaim gave the man money, enough not only for wine, but for a proper Yom Tov meal, with dignity and joy.
Because sometimes, the real question is never the one being asked.
As we prepare for the beautiful and meaningful Yom Tov of Pesach, our homes begin to fill with anticipation, the cleaning, the cooking, the family, and of course, the Seder night itself, focused around questions.
We encourage our children to ask Mah Nishtanah the Four Questions. We celebrate curiosity. We build our entire Seder surrounded by questions and answers.
But perhaps there is a deeper question we can ask ourselves this year:
How do we answer?
On Pesach, we speak so much about freedom cheirut. But true freedom is about leaving Mitzrayim long ago. It is about freeing ourselves from superficial listening… from rushed responses… from living on autopilot.
It is about learning to truly hear one another.
When our children ask questions do we just answer, or do we listen?
When a spouse speaks do we react, or do we understand?
When a friend reaches out do we respond to the words, or to the heart behind them?
Lets hear not only the question, but the person.
In doing so, we give something far greater than answers.
We give connection, dignity and we give true freedom.
Wishing you and your family a kosher and joyous Pesach,
Chag Kasher V’Sameach
Shabbat Shalom
Rabbi Zalman & Esty
